How to Keep From Punching People Who Deserve It the Most

This past weekend, many around the world tuned in to watch the Mike Tyson-Jake Paul fight. Watching two people channel their frustrations in the ring might inspire some of us to imagine throwing a punch at the people in our lives who need it the most. However, in real life, resorting to physical violence rarely solves anything and tends to make the situation worse. Over and over, I've heard different clients say “I feel under attack” which reminds me, there’s no shortage of frustrating people in the world. Whether it’s the coworker who creates drama, the friend who takes without giving back, the internet gangster who wouldn’t dare say their words in person, or the family member who makes ignorant comments- everyday might feel like a test of patience.  

So how do you keep from punching the people who deserve it the most? Here are 5 ways:

1. When someone desperately tries to provoke you, your reaction is their victory. It is as simple as taking a pause before you respond. That split second can make all the difference in your reaction.
2. Physical activity is one of the healthiest outlets for pent-up frustration. Instead of throwing punches, throw yourself into a workout or punching bag. This past week I visited a rage room with a group of women. Smashing items in a controlled environment does reduce stress and tension.
3. Sometimes, the best response is no response. Walking away or staying silent can send a clearer message than any argument or punch. There is truly a lot of power in silence.
4. Talk to someone you trust about the situation. Sometimes, outside perspective can offer validation, and that much-needed comic relief. Make sure your venting session isn't a breeding ground for resentment and more anger.
5. Not every battle needs to be fought. Sometimes, letting go is the ultimate act of strength. It doesn’t mean you approve the behavior—it means you’re choosing peace over petty.

If all these methods fail, punch them! haha No seriously, If someone’s behavior is truly unbearable or harmful, wait until you are in the right mindset to address it calmly. Avoid using “You” statements, instead use “I” statements to let them know how their behavior impacted you then set boundaries. For example, “You’re always so rude!” and “I feel disrespected when you (insert behavior) and i would like if you could (insert boundary)” This statement leaves little room for defense and arguments. This takes a lot of practice, so start now.  The next time someone "deserves a punch," pause, take a deep breath, and remember: your response is your power. Don’t give it away in violence.

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