How The "Strong Black Woman" Narrative Leads You To Burnout

By Edna Massey, Licensed Therapist

Burnout, an all-too-familiar challenge in today's workplaces, affects countless individuals across society. Research reveals a disheartening trend: Black women bear the brunt of burnout at higher rates. Drawing upon my extensive experience as a therapist, I've witnessed numerous Black women seeking therapy to confront a common dilemma—the internal struggle between their authentic selves and the image of the strong, independent Black woman.

So, what defines this archetype of the "strong Black woman"? It can be distilled into three defining elements: increased emotional strength, unwavering independence, and tireless caregiving.

Have you ever found yourself tirelessly managing your tone, censoring your opinions, or displaying emotional fortitude even when you're on the verge of breakdown? What about the pervasive sense of independence—shouldering all responsibilities, covering all expenses, and being the unwavering support pillar for everyone with minimal reciprocity? Are you the default problem-solver for your entire family?

The concept of the strong Black woman emerged as a coping mechanism against daily stressors. Over time, it has evolved into a primary driver of burnout among Black women. This superhero complex, though well-intentioned, ultimately erodes your confidence, health, and self-worth.

Now, the path to mitigating burnout lies in embracing practical steps. One significant issue among most strong Black women is the reluctance to seek help. Reflect on where you've assumed the role of savior in your life. Do you constantly feel the need to be in control because you fear no one else will take charge? It's essential to remember that you can't do it all, and adopting the mantra "uh uh! find somebody else" is not just acceptable but advisable. Seek out at least two individuals in your life willing to support you when you reach out for help.

My second piece of advice centers on acknowledging and expressing your true feelings. Start by owning your emotions, sharing your struggles with those around you. The journey of adulthood is challenging, especially when your responsibilities extend beyond self-care. Your support system can't offer help if they're unaware of your struggles. While vulnerability is demanding, it's also a powerful gift. Identify a confidant in your life willing to lend an empathetic ear.

Third, implement effective boundaries. People will make demands on your time and energy if you permit them. I recently read a statement: "takers have no limits."  You can define how much of your physical and mental resources you're willing to contribute when you're stretched thin.

Lastly, embrace the liberating power of "NO!" Saying no often carries a heavy burden of guilt. Nevertheless, learning to say "NO!" from a place of empowerment can be transformative for your mental and physical well-being. Consistent practice and a willingness to navigate those feelings of guilt are key to making this change effective.